BABIES ARE AMAZING - Part 2
The seventh month. Since this month can be a little trying if your baby starts getting upset about you leaving the room, you may have some problems with how you deal with this new development. On the one hand, you might find that you are somewhat flattered and you might secretly find that you are pleased that your baby has this obvious preference for you over anyone else. On the other hand, if this happens to be the month that you finally made the decision that you are going to try to get some more time to yourself and regain some of your own interests, you're probably going to be a little conflicted when the time comes for you to leave your baby with someone else. There is something rather miserable about leaving your baby with someone else when the baby is obviously upset that you are heading out the door. If your baby attends daycare and this has become a daily ordeal then you should know that it will eventually pass, and that you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. If you stay home with your baby during the day and you have never experienced this type of reaction from your baby, however, then you may not know how to react. Here is what you need to know: the likely outcome of you leaving will be that your baby will calm down a few minutes after you leave, and will be perfectly happy until you return. You're not letting your baby down by leaving him or her for a couple of hours, but instead you are allowing yourself a little bit of well-deserved time off and will come back refreshed and a little more ready to deal with the rigors of taking care of a baby. If you instead decide to wait out this phase and just never leave your baby until he or she gets over this phase, then that's up to you. Don't let anyone force you to leave your baby if it reduces you to tears and forces your baby into an elaborate fit. You can try it a couple of times and see how it goes, but if it just isn't worth it then you can wait until you and your baby are a little more ready to be apart. There is nothing wrong with that. Remember: you should do things that feel right to you…not what someone else tells you is right. The eighth month. In the eighth month you really start to notice the fruits of your labor paying off. All the time you have been spending trying to teach your baby various things starts to culminate into a baby who is starting to get places on his or her own, and who even is starting to try to talk. The first time your baby looks at you and pronounces you "Mama" is one of the most rewarding experiences a mom can have. It doesn't really matter if your baby is actually calling you "Mama" or if the sounds just happened to come out while he or she was glancing in your general direction. You have been giving your heart and soul to this baby for the last several months with little recognition, and up until now you may have wondered if your baby really understands who you are in relation to everyone else in his or her life. Something happens when you officially receive the "Mama" title, though. There is just something really great about being called "Mama" by your baby. So if this is the month that this happens, then relish the moment because it is truly special. By the way, try not to get disappointed if your baby says "Dada" before blessing you with "Mama." Some experts say that the syllables in "Dada" are just easier for babies to say than the syllables in "Mama," and so you should know that the order in which your baby chooses to say his or her first words is not necessarily indicative of any preference of one parent over the other. Then again, your baby's first words might not even be "Dada" or "Mama," so it may not even be something you need to fret over. After all, if your baby's first word is "dog" does this make the dog any more valuable to your baby than you are? Of course, some parents would joke that the baby loves the dog the best anyhow, but for this month just be proud that all the verbal coaching you have been giving your baby is starting to manifest into word formations by your baby. The ninth month. As your baby's personality starts to become more and more apparent, you will probably have an even better time as a mom. Around nine months you might actually start sleeping through the night because your baby isn't waking you up every few hours. Some babies don't sleep through the night until they are over a year old though, so if your baby isn't sleeping through the night yet then don't convince yourself that it's never going to happen. You can either wait for it to happen on its own, or you might want to invest in one of the countless books available that give parents various methods on how to teach your baby to sleep through the night. The problem with all the methods is that there are so many of them that sometimes it is difficult to tell which one is the one you should use. It really boils down to which method sounds the best to you. Don't try the Ferber method if you don't like the idea of letting your baby cry while you stand by and wait for a certain amount of time to go by. On the other hand, you shouldn't embrace the attachment parenting style if you really don't feel like stumbling into your baby's room for a cuddle every few hours during the night. The chances are that you are already utilizing a method that's already published by some various baby experts because you are just doing what makes sense to you. If you are starting to get really frustrated though, and feel as though you simply can't keep going on like you have been, then start browsing those books and try something else. You might come across a method that not only sounds good to you, but also works when you try it on your baby. If you have been spending the last nine months not getting good sleep at night you might be willing to try just about anything to get a full night's sleep, so it's worth it to try a couple of different methods in a valiant attempt at getting a good night's sleep for both you and your baby. The tenth month. As your baby nears his or her first birthday, you may actually have trouble remembering what life was like before your baby came along. You might romanticize what life was like, thinking that it was all a bunch of sleeping late and parties out with your friends. The truth is that you were probably tired back then too, just for different reasons. Yes, there is no exhaustion like the exhaustion of raising a baby, but don't allow yourself to miss "The Old Days" so much that you don't get to enjoy what stage of your life you happen to be in right now. Speaking of your current life, how is your relationship with your spouse these days? You are at a point with your baby to where you have probably formed a nice groove and you feel a lot more confident in your parenting skills. Have you allowed for your romantic relationship with your spouse to suffer so that you could fully embrace your role as a mom? You really can do both – being a mom and a wife – and you can do them both well, but it takes a lot of work. If you are one of the women who has a supportive partner who shares in all the duties associated with raising a baby then you should consider yourself very lucky. If, on the other hand, you have some issues with your spouse then don't allow your role as a mom to be an excuse as to why you don't try to fix what the problem is. Thinking something along the lines of, "Sure we would go to marriage counseling, but then who would watch the kids?" is a real lame excuse for not doing your best to make sure you get everything figured out. If you can't take the time to fix your relationship, then what will it be like a few months down the road? You can't abandon a relationship and hope that it will just work itself out. The eleventh month. There are lots of changes that will be coming in the year ahead, but even though it may be awfully tempting to forge ahead with certain things, you probably want to resist the urge. For example, moving your baby from the crib to a toddler bed may sound like great fun to you as you envision your child crawling in to bed by himself or herself and peacefully drifting off to sleep, but the truth is a little less storybook than that. Big changes like moving to a toddler bed are best left to the recommended time that baby experts suggest, and with good reason. An eleven month-old can certainly be one smart cookie, but left to his or her own devices will probably choose to rummage through the drawers in the room or play with toys instead of sleeping. This makes for a frustrating ordeal for both you and your baby. Another great example is potty training. You may dream about not needing to buy expensive diapers anymore, but the truth is that most eleven month-olds are nowhere near ready to give up their diapers. Yes, there are a few babies who can be effectively potty trained before their first birthday, but that's because they want to be. If it's more a matter of the parents forcing the issue and giving the baby no choice, you're going to wind up with a baby who knows how to use the potty but still has accident after accident because in truth, he or she just wasn't physically or cognitively ready to leave the diapers behind. So if you have friends who have babies the same age who are already switching to toddler beds or potty training, just sit back and watch instead of forcing your baby to follow suit. If you give it a month or two your friend will probably wind up coming to you and complaining about how the baby has trouble sleeping or how the baby pooped in the car and made a huge mess. That's what happens when you force something on a baby before the baby is ready for the change: they backlash. Even if you think your baby is the smartest baby that ever lived (and who knows, your baby may indeed be that baby), you still shouldn't put pressure on him or her to do things that he or she just isn't ready for. The twelfth month. Holy cow, has it already been a year? It may seem to you like it was only yesterday that you nestled your newborn in your arms. Your baby's first birthday is a huge milestone. How do you feel about it? On the morning of your baby's birthday, do you wake up sobbing or do you dance and sing because you kept your baby alive and happy for a full year and this makes you feel like Mother of the Year? On your baby's first birthday you can look back and reflect on all the things you made it through that you might have thought you actually wouldn't make it through. How many nights were you so tired that you thought you were going to just pass out from exhaustion? How many illnesses did you nurse your baby through, each time your heart breaking because your baby felt so miserable? Yes, having a baby makes you a bona fide mom, but getting to the first year with a baby makes you feel a little more like a victorious warrior who has won some sort of battle. So what's next? Rest assured that you will continue to be amazed at all the fantastic things your child can do, and if your baby isn't yet walking or talking you're in for a real treat when he or she starts doing these things proficiently. The biggest thing that you need to do at this point is to give yourself a big pat on the back for making it this far. It is by no means easy to raise a baby in the first year, especially if your first exposure to newborns started the day you gave birth to your baby. For this reason, when your baby is smearing birthday cake all over his or her face and squealing in delight, you may want to cut yourself a ridiculously big piece of cake too and celebrate your accomplishment as a mom. As the months roll along, you may be so busy that you don't really notice all the incredible changes your baby goes through at such a rapid rate. A quick glance back at some pictures from a previous month, however, will quickly reveal to you how fast time is going by. Try your very best to savor each stage your baby is in. Don't feel guilty if certain steps by your baby toward independence make you cheer inside because it lessens your burden just a little. It's okay to be happy about things that will make your life easier (such as a baby figuring out how to drink out of a cup without help or crawl to a toy instead of screaming for mommy to grab it). Just don't be surprised if a couple of years down the road you kick yourself for ever having wanted your baby to grow up in the first place. |
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