Baby’s First Year / BABIES ARE AMAZING - Part 1

BABIES ARE AMAZING - Part 1

Most baby books tell you all about what you should expect from your baby during the first year. The books will painstakingly itemize what milestones your baby should be reaching each month, and will tell you what you can expect in the upcoming months. What about a list of what you can expect for yourself when it comes to your reactions to your baby's developments during the first year? Use this guide as an informal timeline to what you can expect for yourself. Be sure to remember, however, that everyone experiences things at a different pace. If you come across serious concerns regarding anything on this list then it's time to make an appointment to chat with your doctor.

The first month. This-month-is-crazy. It can not be emphasized enough that you should clear your entire calendar for this month until you can figure out how you are going to react to childbirth and to having a new baby in the house. This means that you may not be able to make it to the monthly coffee nights with your girlfriends or take the time to do the scrapbooking you enjoy so much. Think about it: you are going to be a sleep-deprived, hormonally imbalanced, exhausted mess…and if this is your first real exposure to a newborn, you will probably be a confused mess as well. Your body will also be working hard to bounce back from the rigors of childbirth, whether it was a vaginal delivery or a caesarean section. Your breasts will go through radical changes and even if you don't plan on breastfeeding you will probably deal with engorged breasts. This is the month when you really need to give yourself a break and not be too hard on yourself. Don't convince yourself that you need to run out and purchase every educational toy and sing French lullabies to your baby every night for cognitive development's sake. Your baby couldn't care less about toys and learning foreign languages right now. Your baby is more interested in sleeping, filling diapers, and being cuddled. If at all possible, make this your mantra: "relax, relax, relax." If you are able to do this, you will be a much happier mom. Above all else, remember that your hormones will start to regulate themselves, your body will start to feel better, and as your baby begins to notice his or her environment in the coming months, you will start to have some real fun.

The second month. This is the month that you may decide to start venturing out more, unless you have already been running around town with your newborn baby in tow. If you haven't formed an insane attachment to your baby then you probably will in this month. You are still sleep deprived but your hormones may be simmering down a little bit. Most women find that their bodies have not really done much bouncing back, and you may be asked by people "when is your baby due?" and you will have to decide whether you want to sheepishly admit that you are post-partum or you can just lie and say you're due soon. This month, as long as you are on schedule, you will have to take your baby in to get the first series of shots. There is no way to really describe what it's like to hold your baby down while the technician gives him or her shots. If you have never felt your heart physically ache before, this may be your first time. So how can you deal with this without sobbing? Try to remember that your baby takes cues from you, and if you are freaking out then the baby will think that things have spiraled out of control and will freak out even more. That means that no matter how badly you want to snatch your baby from the technician, bop the technician in the head with your diaper bag, and then run out of their screaming, "You'll never touch my baby!", you should instead opt for a calm demeanor. This will help your baby to not get too upset (although you can't really expect a calm baby when he or she is being stuck with needles), and it may help you to feel calmer if you are pretending to be calm.

The third month. Things start to get more and more fun in this month, because your baby is starting to develop by leaps and bounds and you are feeling quite clever for having a baby that can do things that a three month-old can do. You are also probably forming an even bigger attachment to your baby because he or she may be getting excited when you walk into a room. What a powerful feeling it is to know that your baby thinks you are the absolutely coolest person in the whole universe. Something else happens this month that may startle you a little: your baby may start growing out of the 0-3 clothes he or she was wearing and might move into the next size up. Resist the urge to buy up a ton of new clothing for your baby because as you will soon learn, babies grow at an amazing rate in the first year and if you bought a whole new expensive wardrobe every time your baby moved up a size then you would be shelling out quite a bit of money. If your hormones have been giving you a run for your money after the baby was born you may be noticing that you are starting to feel a little more in control of your emotions. Even though you probably aren't getting a full night's sleep quite yet, you're probably figuring out ways to function on the little sleep you do get. For many moms who have decided to stay at home with the baby, this is the month when they start to figure out how to manage to at least have a frozen pizza popped into the oven by the time their husbands come home for dinner. If you figured this out earlier than three months, then give yourself a pat on the back. If you aren't quite there yet, then just hang on…it's coming, so don't fret.

The fourth month. Moms who breastfeed their babies look forward to the fourth month because this is the month when you can probably start feeding some solid food to your baby. Of course, there are nursing moms who dread this particular development because they don't like the idea of anything else providing nourishment to their babies. Whichever side of the fence you are on, here is a heads up regarding the first time your baby accepts food from a spoon: it's exciting, but it can reduce you to tears. Up until now, you probably haven't really dealt with anything that so blatantly pointed toward your baby growing up. Sure, there are various milestones that your baby accomplishes in the first three months, which are fascinating and exciting, but when the fourth month rolls along and suddenly your baby is eating some real food…that's a little weird. So don't be surprised when your baby takes his or her first bite and you find yourself first elated, and then reduced to tears because your baby is growing up. It's completely natural to have this reaction, and you need to also understand that there are still a few hormones floating around in your system at this point, which make you even more prone to a good cry now and then. This is also the month when many moms start to think about weaning their babies…not because of the introduction to solid food but because this is around the time when the first tooth starts to sprout. Rest assured that you don't have to give up nursing just because your baby gets a tooth. Some women nurse babies who have several teeth without ever getting bit during a nursing session. Don't let other people talk you into weaning your baby before you're ready, either. You should breastfeed your baby as long as both you and the baby are comfortable with the arrangement.

The fifth month. If you have been feeling as though you are nothing more than an entertainment center to your baby, this month you will probably start to feel a little better as your baby begins to take notice in toys and other interesting objects. There is something very relieving about your baby being able to entertain himself or herself, and there is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about being happy that you can plop your baby on a blanket with a couple of toys and take a breather. Of course, some babies are just happy to stare off into space with nary so much as a single toy, but if your baby has always been one to seek out visual and tactile stimulation then you'll probably be elated when you actually notice your baby taking delight in something other than your nose or hair. This month, or in the months coming, you will probably notice a pattern with your baby as far as when he or she wants to nap and when he or she wants to eat. Pay attention to the pattern, because if you can crack the code, you will make your life much easier in the months (and years) to come. This is not to say that you need to be on a rigid schedule, but if you know when your baby's eyelids are going to start drooping then you can plan your daily activities accordingly. You will know not to plan a trip to the grocery store right around the time your baby will get hungry, and you will know that at a certain time of day you will probably be able to catch a small nap because your baby will more than likely be sleeping. Try to allow your baby to set your schedule instead of vice versa, and the both of you will probably be a lot happier.

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